Today I was asked to share my testimony. After I was done I thought I would share it with you because as I pen each word I couldn’t stop the amazing love that I felt remembering the LORD I came to know and how thankful I am. Be blessed!!!

Before I was 12 years old I had been the victim of incest, molested by family, friends, and raped by a trusted teacher. Abandoned by father and mother, left in the care of my violating grandfather and a grandmother who thought her gifts would wash away his violations.

I lived in fear of people, distrusted, filled with anger, hate and bent on self-destruction.

Outwardly I appeared successful in my careers, respectful, quiet, reserved and distant from people.

                             
No one knew my past, except me and those who had violated. Even they pretended as I got older as if nothing had happened.

Shifted around from one set of grandparents, to aunts and uncles, I felt unloved. At a very early age I began to disconnect my emotions until I felt numb.

I searched to find my significance. I tried to rebuild a new me through personal development books, tapes, seminars, but it was only temporary.

I lived dark, trying to force light into my being through positive thinking and behavior, but still felt empty.

32 years later my third husband was diagnosed with full body cancer and given two days to live. It was then I realized I was truly powerless. I began to think on spiritual things. Didn't think God could help me, that something was so bad within me that God couldn't love me.

I was ready to give up when I cried out,"God, if you are really real, show me; I need to know; otherwise, life is not worth living."

That day I heard a voice, the same voice, I had heard so often as a child but did not recognize, or know.

This voice gave me an audio tour of my life, told me things I had never voiced to anyone, but this voice knew. Joy began to fill my soul. I remember feeling free. I remember praising and worshiping.

My life changed forever that day. I now know He lives. I now know that He loves me. I now know He was always there even when I had no earthly parents, or people I trusted. I now know my path has been guided from my youth by Him.

Isn’t it wonderful to know he loved us even when we didn’t love or know him?

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