My father cared for me. Didn’t you see how special I was to him? He took me places, gave me money, taught me how to drive at a young age; of course, he was drunk and I had to drive us home. Don’t you remember the letters he wrote saying he loved me? He even sent money in those letters but my mean grandmother who hated his guts never let me keep it.

It’s mommy’s fault. She fussed at him all the time. I don’t blame him for leaving. Now he’s gone. Left all of us behind. Left me. I thought I was so special. Finally, my trust in him deteriorated into hopelessness.  He doesn’t care. No one cares.


Why me? Why did he leave me? I thought I was more special than mom, but he left me too. For years I believed the lie that he left me when he left my mother. The truth of the matter my dad’s sinful nature (Roman’s 7-8) was ruling his life. He did not know how to resist, so he made the choice to abandon his family to pursue after what pleased him.

“Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” (James 1:8)

I make no excuses for my father. He made a bad choice that he had to live with. What I’m thankful for is that I don’t blame him or mom anymore for life’s wrong turns and my bad choices.  What I perceived was that mom was the bad guy and daddy was the good guy. It was a lie. Mom fussed because daddy, an only child, was irresponsible with their finances, and as a father he was selfish and self-centered.

That is what the arguments were about. For years I blamed mom for making my daddy go away. The interesting thing when he left she left. Their actions brought about feelings of abandonment. I felt it was my 
Fault. I am not a child anymore, and  neither are you. You can release those feelings because someone does care for you. Here is what he said about you and I: “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” (Psalm 55:22)

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